Requiem for the Dead
by xerxes
Summary: Chap 7 up! Sakuragi has to choose between basketball and revenge for his late father. Will he break his promise to Anzai-sensei? [yaoi]
1. Requiem for the Dead

Minna,

            Ok, second Slam Dunk fic. The first one is gone already…I made up a new penname so my nice and loyal friends won't review this out of either pity or obligation. I hope you guys like it.

            I'm a huge fan of Sakuragi, I don't know why. He's just so lovable (huh?) I guess. I don't think I'll be able to write a straight or yaoi story so I'm not thinking of making this a romance yet. 

            I'm not a grammar teacher or graduate from teaching…blabla…expect mistakes. 

            I don't know if there's another fic out there with the same plot, but I haven't read one like this yet…if ever, I've thought of this story a long, long time ago, even before I discovered fanfiction.net.

As usual, I don't own Slam Dunk. Oh, please give me feedback through your reviews. 

Requiem for the Dead

By Xerxes

            He wondered why he was back there in front of his father's grave, crying his eyes out. Somehow, Anzai-sensei triggered the memory of his late father as he fell to the floor clutching his chest, face twisted with unimaginable pain. Everything seemed so surreal, as if he were transported back through time and was witnessing his father's last moments once again_. Oyaji…_

             Only this time, he was able to call for help.

            He clenched his fists and remembered the faces of those who prevented him from calling a doctor. Blind with desperation, he faintly recalled his own voice, pleading to them to let him go to save his father. Poorly aimed punches, a few well-placed kicks and jabs helped him get free. But he was too late. By the time the paramedics arrived at his house, his father was already sprawled facedown on the floor, without any sign of life. He was already dead.

            Someday, if he ever gets to see them again, he would have his revenge. _The moment I get my hands on you, I swear, I'll-_

            Calming himself down, he decided to go back to the gym and practice. The old man would be happy if he masters his shots. As usual, when walking along the streets, he scanned the crowd for the faces etched in his mind forever. _Just in case._

            There he met his teammates, usually the starting members of Shohoku. Mitsui Hisashi, aka Missy, the former MVP and ex-gangster who had a knack for three-pointers. His closest buddy on the team, Miyagi Ryota whom he fondly calls Ryochin, was the ever-reliable point guard known for his incredible speed. And then, his all-time rival, the biggest obstacle of his lovelife, Rukawa Kaede, the Ice-Prince he had dubbed 'kitsune'. They helped him practice, but not without the usual bickering and mild fighting they enjoyed.

            "I'll guard you."

            "I'll pass the ball to you."

            "And I'll criticize your play."

            "Teme kitsune! How dare you insult the Tensai?! Take this!"

            They might seem like the team with the least chances of winning because of their lack of discipline and lack of teamwork, but in truth, they respected each other and worked with each other in their own way. They were more than a team. They were family. 

            After years of inevitable defeats, Shohoku was reborn through the talents of its players who dedicated themselves to the sport. The list of players ranged from wannabe superstars to fearsome amateurs such as Sakuragi Hanamichi. Their uniqueness was found by some as their weakness, others as their trump card. 

            Even without their coach, Anzai-sensei, they won against Ryonan, the formidable team they had once played against and lost to. Victory was largely because of Sakuragi who improved himself rapidly to 'defeat' Sendoh, the spiky-haired ace. 

            Basketball had really taken over his life. He used to just get by the days with his friends, fighting with the occasional rival gangs and such. Now, he was driven to make progress and become one of the top players of Japan. He silently thanked Akagi Haruko, the sister of their terrifying captain, for having introduced him to the sport. A little crush ended as a burning passion for basketball. 

            Mito Youhei, his best friend and one of those who stood by him in his times of hardship in junior high muttered to himself, "Well done Hanamichi. You've come a long way."

            The whole team went to the hospital to celebrate with their coach. They happily presented to him the plaque stating Shohoku as the No. 2 team in the whole Kanagawa prefecture. 

            "We won! Anzai-sensei, look! We won! We're No.2!"

            The old man made no protests as they threw him up in the air, almost smashing into the ceiling of his room, to the horror of the nurse who was still asking them of their business inside the hospital. It was surely a night of celebration, or so Sakuragi thought. Anxious to prepare himself for the much awaited Inter High, he went back to school to practice.

            Walking along the dark alleys, he was to pass by his house from the hospital to get to the gym. Deciding to take a quick snack, he unlocked the front door. As usual, his mom was still busy working overtime at the office. Munching on the sandwich he made, he slung his bag over his shoulder, and held a basketball in his right hand when a picture caught his eye. It was a photo of him and his father on an outing. He smiled remembering those happy times. And then dark thoughts crossed his mind as the scene of his father's collapse replayed in his head. The fury was back, refusing to budge from its hold onto him. He remembered his promise to Anzai-sensei to never fight again. _Basketball, I must think of basketball. For the Inter High._

            He was dribbling he ball slowly when he passed by the same street they had apprehended him.

            _"Let me go! My father needs help! I have to get a doctor! Oyaji!"_

            He plodded on, trying to block these thoughts. He tried to ignore those voices in his head, screaming the memories that plagued him. _Get a hold of yourself Hanamichi. Don't lose it. Remember, you promised Anzai-sensei you'd never fight again. You promised Oyaji._

            It was then that his resolve to keep that vow crumbled. He let the ball slip out of his hands and roll into the shadows. Sakuragi's pulse raced as he saw those familiar faces that haunted him every single time he thought of his father. He had finally found them.

To be continued

Feedback please guys….onegai. Oh, beautiful and kind people, please tell me how many those 'guys' were. Three? Four? And how many when they came back. I can't make the second chapter until I know. Thanks.


	2. Lies

Super duper…loooong wait, gomen for that! Thanks for those who reviewed, man, thanks. Dedicated to Angel, who is mad at me right now. Sorry so much, but still, I'm telling you, he's such an ass. I swear I've never lied to you, ever.

Ok, this chapter might be short, and it sort of deviates from the Sakuragi is going to kill some people thing. A sort of inside look on the issue. It's actually a flashback.

Arg…I still write like a girl. Don't laugh but I've had that problem since birth. Unless they see me, they think I'm from the female side. Totally off man.

Some people asked me if this is going to be a yaoi fic. It might, but I'm still not reconciled to the idea of a man going for another man. It makes me look at my friends funny.

Hail to Dr. T who made Slam Dunk. 

Chapter 2: Lies

            _White.__ The color of the sheets that seemed to mock me unendingly. The sheets blinded me with its false purity where underneath lurked the stench of death, filling my nostrils with its putrid fumes. Hospitals were supposed to save lives. This one didn't._

            Hanamichi stared at those immaculately clean walls as doctors tried to bring the life back into the limp body of his father. Outside, tears had dried up already and he was facing the inevitable truth that his old man was already dead. Inside, he clung desperately to the hope that his father would miraculously revive and go home with him as if nothing had happened.

            It seemed easier to let other people think that he blamed the hospital or those highschoolers who prevented him from saving his Oyaji. At least they won't pester him with questions like, "Are you okay?" or "How are you feeling?"  He hated it when people patronized him and showered him with fake sentiments. After his father's death, he totally realized how alone a person really was in this world. No one could ever understand him, except himself.

            He knew that the dagger of guilt never stopped twisting itself into his heart, reminding him constantly of what he had allowed. It buried itself deeper into those fragile muscles, embedding the sin of murder. It's as if every heartbeat screamed, "Killer! Die!" But he felt that somehow, if he inflicted pain on those people, the guilt would haunt him less and maybe he would be brought closer to redemption.

            _Redemption…It's too late for me now. The only way to avenge my father's death _would be to…_Hanamichi gazed at the blade, enchanted by its mysterious glint. The soft shimmer of steel attracted him in some sort of twisted way, as if it called to him to press it to his soft, smooth skin to let loose a warm torrent of blood. _Yes, you are responsible…do it and end you misery…You couldn't even save your father, why bother saving yourself?__

            He winced as the blade cut through his skin, and even more as it sliced his vein. Hanamichi stared at the crimson flood staining the floor and his clothes. He felt it rush out from his hand taking with it his strength and his will to live. Looking up to the skies from his window, he prayed to his father, "Wait for me…"

To be continued…

            I know, cliffhanger. But the next chapter will totally decide if it's yaoi. The first chapter's continuation will be on the 4th or 5th one, coz I started with the end. So it's going to take a while for you to know whether he beats the hell out of those asses or not. Much like this feeling of mine to punch a guy in the face (you reading this Angel?)

            I would totally appreciate your reviews once again. Flames are totally fine. Just don't post severe profanities.


	3. Beyond Control

I don't own Slam Dunk

Summary: Hanamichi finally finds the guys who helped "kill" his father, unfortunately, an accident causes him to lose his memory.

Short chapter, lots of grammatical errors….

Angel, you had better stay away from him!!!!! Oh, happy semestral break! I'm still stuck at school…

Requiem for the Dead

Chapter III

Beyond Control

            It started raining but Hanamichi didn't seek shelter under the bus stop. He continued staring at the four, eyeing them carefully as they laughed and continued to drink from cans they probably pilfered along the way. 

            _How dare you be happy after what you had done…  _

            He clenched his fist tightly as the guys spotted his ball and started playing ruefully with it. They let out loud guffaws as one of them attempted to throw the ball into a trash bin, exclaiming, "Three points!"

            Hanamichi's heart started beating faster, urging him to lunge at them to beat the pulp out of their spineless bodies until they writhe on the ground and die. With the adrenaline pumping into his veins, he shouted at them, "Hey you f*ing bastards!" They sneered at him, ridiculing him for his impossibly red hair. This made his anger flare to the point that his eyes had that menacing glint that had his opponents before scampering away. He walked calmly towards them, half-expecting them to charge at him like before. They did, but before Hanamichi could land a single punch, one of them pushed him onto the middle of the street. He heard the screech of the tires scraping against the asphalt, then…nothing.

            White. It glared at him, making him squint. Clawing at the sheets entangled between his legs, he tried to make out where he was. He was in a hospital near his house, the one that he hated the most. _I need to get outta here… was the thought that popped into his head, which by the way felt like splitting due to the headache he was desperately wishing to get rid of._

            Hanamichi felt like an alien, with his radical appearance clashing with the muted sullenness of the room. Everything was immaculate, sterilized, and just so damn cold. He shivered as the blanket slowly fell off him onto the floor. Twisting to reach for it, his side was shot with excruciating pain. He groaned then felt someone push him back to the bed and cover him with the runaway blanket. His vision blurred, but he could still make out the color of the eyes of the person who helped him. They were piercingly blue. Then everything went black again.

            It was like a dream, with the whole world moving in slow motion. Nurses and doctors seemed to take forever to move down that hall. Their faces were blank, as if God had erased them for fun. Hanamichi made his way slowly to the washroom, almost entering the ladies' facilities, thanks to his groggy state. Turning left, he found the door he was seeking and pushed it with all the strength he could muster. The washroom was empty, with one dripping faucet making the only sound to be heard in the room. He opened the valve and let out a gush of water that gave his hands a cool shock. He splashed it onto his face and looked at his reflection. He wondered how other people saw him_. Do they think of me like those guys before? _

            The whole basketball team of Shohoku had visited him earlier, of course with Anzai-sensei and Haruko in tow. Hanamichi stared at them without any flicker of recognition registering in his mind. _Strangers. They laughed nervously at his silence and unaffectedness, disappointingly different from the Hanamichi they knew. He didn't mutter a single sarcastic remark for Ryochin or Mitchy, nor did he show any signs of blushing when Haruko leaned towards him to check his temperature. There was no boisterous laughter, no fighting with the other members, no Gori punch lines. It was just a tall person lying down in front of them. A person with flaming red hair._

            The doctor explained to them that the car accident caused him to lose his memory. "Amnesia?" the ever reliable intellectual, Kogure asked. The doctor replied with a curt nod. Ryota laughed and told Hanamichi, "It just took a car to scatter what's left of your brains, you baka." Mitsui joined in with, "Maybe you need glasses already. What was the size of the car, as big as this?" He held his index finger and his thumb about four inches apart. There wasn't any reply from him. He blinked at them, trying to make out what reply he could give them. _Am I supposed to get angry? _

            Hanamichi scanned their faces, desperately trying to figure out who they belonged to. He was rewarded with nothing but the stupid migraine he'd been having since he woke up. He gritted his teeth as he clutched his head, trying to make the throbbing stop. They quickly filed out of the room as the doctor asked them to leave the room. He stared at them helplessly as the doctor took out the syringe to administer his sedative. He felt his eyelids slowly droop as he watched the concerned looks they gave him from the glass of the door.

            He cast his eyes downwards to his wet hands. _Why can't I remember anything? He tried to recall anything from the past, but his headache bothered him._

            He saw a blade left carelessly by the sink, probably a visitor who used the washroom as a refuge for a quick, cheap shave. Hanamichi was amazed as his hands were familiar with the feel of the metal. He automatically flipped his hand so that its palm faced upwards. With one fluid stroke, he sliced at his wrist, the place where a scar faintly stood out against his lightly tanned skin. It was painful alright, with the blood rushing out in a crimson flood onto the floor. Leaning against the sink, a small curve formed on his lips. 

            _At least I remember this._

To be continued…

I know, long overdue. You're probably going to ask, "Where's Youhei and the others?" And of course, "Who's the blue-eyed dude?" the question whether it's going to be yaoi is still in the air.* It could just be his doctor for all you know. Angel thinks it should be SenHana. This fic seriously needs feedback (thanks to those who reviewed the earlier chapters, promise to mention you next chapter). By the way, told ya it's going to be a long while before Hanamichi chooses between basketball and revenge for his dad. By the time I get to that, this story might have already taken a different interest.*


	4. Windows of the Soul

I wish I own Slam dunk.

Thanks to sLL, babypooh, angel007, Zackire, and F5C for reviewing my fic….and to the anonymous person too…

A lot of people don't know what requiem means (I tried the Fanfiction.net dictionary but it was not listed). Here's a snippet of my explanation to sLL:

"about the requiem bit, it's a musical composition for the dead. basically what my title is saying is that the song for the dead is for the dead. it's supposed to reflect hanamichi's sorrow and suicidal emotions...a tune that he's singing is not yet appropriate for him."

I surrender, it's going to be yaoi. But it's not going to be SenHana…If you don't like yaoi, first of all, I'm not good with romantic scenes so I'm probably going to let Angel do them. Second, if I ever write those scenes, I never go past kissing. And, last, if my schedule permits, I'm going to write a non-yaoi version starting this chapter. That's all for now…no flames please.

Requiem for the Dead

Chapter IV

Windows of the Soul

            "Mizuki-sensei, can I please go in?" A dark-haired youth pleaded to the skeptical doctor. He hesitated, tapping his foot on the floor, but decided to give in to him. Judging from his expression, the tall young man was desperate to see the patient, permission or not.

            Rukawa Kaede gingerly stepped into the quiet room, his heart pounding for no apparent reason. He had done this at least several times since the redhead's confinement, but the same feeling washed over him upon entering.

            He saw the bandage on Hanamichi's wrist. He pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed, watching for the teammate's reaction. None whatsoever came, and Hanamichi just stared at the sky through the faraway window. 

            _Hanamichi…_

            Rukawa's eyes widened in shock as Hanamichi suddenly asked him out of the blue, "Who are you? Why do you keep visiting?" He then brought his hand to his face and clawed at the bandages on his wrist. "Is it because of this? Is it? Are you worried I'll do it again?" Rukawa snatched Hanamichi's hand away from him. "Baka! You'll open the wound!" "Let go of me!" Hanamichi struggled in Rukawa's strong grip. His brown eyes flashed with anger, which quickly melted into regret when he saw Rukawa's face.

            _Why do you look at me like that? Why do you care?_

            He'd been bleeding profusely in the washroom when Rukawa found him. He quickly tore a long strip from his shirt and wrapped it tightly above Hanamichi's wrist to help stop the bleeding. His eyes took note of the great crimson puddle around the redhead. He took another piece of cloth to press to the wound to stoop the blood from spurting out. He screamed for help cradling Hanamichi all the while. "Hana…Hana…Help! Somebody, help!" 

            The blood drenched Rukawa's clothes, staining them dark red. Hanamichi lay limp in his arms, making no sound. He suddenly started thrashing wildly, flailing his limbs at Rukawa. He quickly grabbed Hanamichi's other hand and then tore the blade from him, flinging it as far as he could. Hanamichi saw it and reached for it, trying to wrestle himself free from Rukawa. 

            "No! Let me…It's all I have left! No!!" 

            "Hana!"

            Rukawa had to use all his strength to restrain Hanamichi, whose sheer power was overwhelming. He let Hanamichi go for a second, who promptly lunged for the blade, but then, Rukawa used the momentum to pin him to the floor. "Stop it Hana!" He clutched Hanamichi's face and forced him to look at him. "See, it's me Hana! It's me!" Hanamichi gazed at him, the blue eyes etched in his memory. "Hana, Hana…" Rukawa's voice broke and he hugged Hanamichi as if his life depended on it. "Hana…" He murmured softly, stroking those red locks. 

            Hanamichi clung to him, tears falling from his eyes. _Who are you? Why do you care? He's waiting for me, let me go! "I can't lose you again Hana," Rukawa whispered._

            As he was rushed to the emergency room, Rukawa ran alongside the gurney, holding Hanamichi's hand tightly. As he felt his eyelids grow heavy, he heard Rukawa's voice distinctly say, "I'll never let you go Hana!"

            He broke away from Rukawa's penetrating gaze. He was scalded by its intensity, swallowing him in its depths. He then felt Rukawa's arms encircle him, gathering him into his comforting embrace. He winced inwardly when he heard his name, "Hanamichi…"

            He felt that those blue eyes had triggered something in him. Somehow, this person was so near, yet so far. In a sea of faceless shadows, he was the only one who stood out and gave off some sort of light. He was shining, like he was the end of Hanamichi's dark tunnel. His arms were wide open, calling for him. Hanamichi was surprised as a name rolled off his tongue. 

            "Rukawa."

            The person hugging him suddenly stiffened then held him at arm's length. His face held a mix of joy and disbelief, with his azure eyes searching Hanamichi's face, as if scrutinizing every detail of it. He whispered hoarsely, "Hanamichi, I've found you! I've found you!" He once again pulled him into his embrace, enfolding him into its warmth.

            _I don't know who you are, or what you were to me…but I feel safe in your arms…so please stay, don't leave me alone again…_

To be continued…

Sorry, I'm not good with mushy scenes. I'm messing up my story…darn…Please give feedback again; it encourages me and gives me ideas to continue. I hope you guys don't get confused with the flashbacks. Thanks! 


	5. Some Things Are Left To Chance

Sorry for taking so long to update. I'm going to die of exhaustion because of school. Anyways, already halfway through the story! Good luck to me!

Merry Christmas by the way, and advanced happy new year. 

Warnings: this contains the littlest bit of yaoi, is taking such a horrific time to complete, some characters are oc, and the author is weird and crazy. Got that? Good. 

I don't hate Mitsui, got that? I actually consider him better than um, never mind. A lot of you'll kill me. 

I don't claim to be the greatest fanfic writer in the world so please bear with me. Thanks to those who actually read and review this, means a lot to me.

Am still trying to win rights to Slam Dunk. Already weaseled my way to the referees.

Requiem for the Dead

Chapter V

Some Things Are Left To Chance

            "My name is Sakuragi Hanamichi. I'm 15 years old. I'm called Sakuragi Hanamichi. 15 years of age…Dammit, I don't know anything else." The pain in his head returned, threatening to pull him into the darkness again. The doctor smiled at him weakly, elbowing him in the ribs. "At least you know how old you are." "Ow."  "Gomen."

            He whipped out another syringe. "Sakuragi-kun, I'm sorry but this is the only way to ease the pain." Hanamichi nodded and leaned back into the pillows in preparation for another long rest. Outside the room as the sedative was being administered, Rukawa shut his eyes tightly and gripped the edge of his chair until his knuckles turned white. _Hana…_

            Rukawa sprang to his feet as the doctor slowly turned the doorknob and quietly let himself out. "Sensei…" The doctor shook his head sadly and told him, "He still can't remember much. Amnesia is understandable, but his prolonged headaches are not. I'll have to take him for tests soon just to check." Rukawa's eyes widened in shock as he realized how grave Hanamichi's condition was. He started for the door when the doctor remarked, "He's asleep. He won't wake up till a few hours later." Rukawa stepped inside the room and said, "It's alright. I just need to see him."

            Youhei rolled his eyes as his friends insisted on following the nurse with the captivating legs…err… smile. "His room's this way." His call went unnoticed as the others scuttled off to the pedia ward where the nurse went. He decided to go to Hanamichi's room by himself.

            Rukawa seated himself beside the bed and reached for Hanamichi's hand which was free of the tubes and tapes. He slowly brought it to his lips and kissed it gently, then laced his fingers with Hanamichi's. He pressed it to his chest, where his heartbeat could be felt the most. "Hana, I know what I've been showing you might seem like a lie, but it isn't. It's what I felt all along, only I was afraid to show you." He lifted his eyes from his chest to the person sleeping near him. His breathing came at regular intervals, his lips curved in what could be considered a tiny smile. _At least you're at peace._

            Youhei quietly went in and saw someone sitting beside his bestfriend's bed, with Hanamichi's hand clutched to his chest. He murmured something like, "…Can you feel it Hana? It's my heart telling the truth." Youhei realized that it was Rukawa Kaede, the Super Rookie of Kanagawa. _Hana?__ Since when have you gone on first name basis? "Rukawa? What are you doing here? How is he?"_

            Rukawa placed Hanamichi's hand back on the bed and quickly whirled around. He told Youhei, "Aside from the bruises, the concussion and the memory loss, he's totally fine." 

            Yohei gave Rukawa a wry smile as he didn't answer the first question he threw at him. He shifted his gaze from Rukawa to Hanamichi. "He looks pretty knocked up. "Amnesia huh? That means he can't remember any of us, or anything from the past." _That gives me a pretty good chance…All the better for you._

            Rukawa narrowed his eyes into slits as he saw Youhei's pained expression. _What is Hanamichi to you anyway?   _

_            Anzai-sensei cancelled practice that day. The whole team came to the hospital, and soon Hanamichi was dressed in his jersey with the ten emblazoned at the back. Their coach had secured permission to take Hanamichi with them to Ryonan where they were to have a practice game in his honor. Anzai-sensei thought that it might bring back some memories and aid in his recovery. Some members of Shoyo came to participate, namely Fujima, Hanagata, and Hasegawa._

            Taoka-sensei couldn't believe what had happened to the obnoxious loudmouth that had irritated him to hell. In front of him was a pacified freshman who nonchalantly glanced at him and bowed to show his respect. He grabbed Hikoichi and ordered him in a shaky voice, "Take a picture, no, a video or something. I want to remember this for the rest of my life." Hikoichi happily complied.

            Starting members for Shohoku were Akagi, Miyagi, Kogure, Mitsui, and of course, Rukawa. As for Ryonan-Shoyo, they were Uozumi, Hanagata, Fujima, Koshino, and…Who could forget? Sendoh Akira. He gazed at Hanamichi, taking a mental picture of what could be the only time the red-haired monkey wasn't trying to kill him. Not that he didn't have a replacement. Rukawa was already shooting daggers at him with his icy glare.

            The game started with Shohoku in possession of the ball. Hanamichi watched as both teams struggled to score points and defend their basket. He could feel the excitement bubble from within, urging him to rip off his jacket and get hold of the ball. He couldn't believe how tense he was, wishing that he were on court playing the game. The sound of the ball being dribbled was music to his ears, drowning out all other sounds including the cheering for both teams. It had a soothing rhythm to it, calming the headache that was starting to form in his head. Hanamichi pictured himself side by side with those athletes, unknowingly replaying one of the glorious moments of Shohoku during the elimination round. 

            "Oi, Youhei, doshitano?" Takamiya eyed his friend nervously as he watched the blue-eyed youth frown, lost deep in his thoughts. He glanced at where Hanamichi was sitting, the same direction Youhei was staring at. _Probably can't handle Hanamichi this way. Can't blame him, it's unnerving to see him like this. Must be desperately wishing for Hanamichi to regain his memory. He knew of the closeness of the two, how they shared more intimacy than the rest of the gang. He realized that ever since that fateful day none of them cared to repeat. Still, what Youhei was thinking about remained a mystery to them all._

            Without their 'tensai' power forward, Shohoku suffered a shattering loss. They'd never admit how much they needed that 'baka' no matter how much of an amateur he was. The opposing team sported some of the tallest and most skilled players of Kanagawa, and they only had Akagi to compensate with his height and experience. Of course the others displayed enormous talent, but still, something was missing.

            Lagging behind by 12 points, they certainly wished for a miracle to happen. The game was in Hanamichi's honor, yet their pride was at stake. All of them hated to lose, probably one of the few similarities the Shohoku players had.

            Horror of horrors, Kogure, also known as Megane-kun, tripped and was rewarded with pain in his ankle. It wasn't a sprain, but Anzai-sensei made him stay on the bench. Kakuta was called to replace him when Miyagi interjected, "This probably sounds like the craziest idea in the world, but what if we let Hanamichi play? I watched this show where the person who had amnesia was cured by letting him experience his 'normal' life. It would help Hanamichi to remember if he were playing the game, and not only watching it."

             "Are you insane? The guy's just been in an accident. Besides, if he can't remember us, what more of basketball? Three month's not much to recall," Mitsui told him. Miyagi had an annoyed expression as he replied, "Shut up Micchy, my brains are still here. I asked the doctor if he could play, and he told me yes, as long as he doesn't exceed ten minutes. That's more than enough time to jog his memory." Ayako looked at him incredulously and said, "Wow Ryota, I never knew you were into medical stuff." Miyagi's eyes turned into hearts as he lovingly said, "Aya-chan!" and was rewarded with a smack on the head with her fan.

            After a long pause, Anzai-sensei gave his consent, knowing that the redhead beside him wasn't too keen on staying off the court. He had been waiting for the chance, based on the way he leaned forward, in his eagerness to play. "Be careful. Don't be too hard on him," he warned both teams. At this point a lot of eyes had evil glints, and some even rubbed their hands together. Hanamichi looked at them quizzically, and then returned to his former state.

            Hanamichi couldn't believe it. He was going to be in the game with them. He took off his jacket and was amazed at how familiar the setting was to him. He walked slowly to the court and stood in front of the only free member of the Ryonan-Shoyo team, Hanagata. He was trembling with excitement, a warmth spreading from his core up to his fingertips. 

            Two pairs of blue eyes were upon Hanamichi as all felt the anxiety grip their hearts. One pair belonged to a teammate, the other to a spectator. They were unsure of what to make of the events that could unfold before them. Rukawa glanced at him worriedly, recalling the headache spells that sent him unconscious. Youhei watched him carefully, concern etched in his face as his eyes trailed on Hanamichi. _Be careful. Kami-sama, please don't let another tragedy take place._

            In the next ten minutes, anything could happen. Hanamichi could remember the events of a whole lifetime before, or it could cost him his whole future. 

            The whistle was blown to signal the start of the game…

To be continued…

I'm still alive! This is the longest chapter ever, and I hope to make the following even longer. 

Hmm….Youhei's acting a bit strange. Ya think there's a chance that he likes Hanamichi more than a friend? You'll soon find out. Btw, just to clear things up, Hanamichi and Rukawa were not 'together' before the accident happened.  The story is set just before the InterHigh. 

That's about it, please read and review. Thanks!           


	6. Memories of the Wrong Kind

Ok pips, sorry bout the LOOONG DELAY. Was really busy with school and some other stuff. Some good news though, my manga's nearly finished (ok, first edition).

I can't believe it. I have a total of 15 reviews….I know, I know, pathetic number, but still!!! Please keep them coming. Well, most of them are "please continue with the story" stuff…that's still encouraging.

Last chapter had lots of typos…kuso. I will replace it soon. Probably didn't notice, ne? Aghhhhh, let's get it on. Mind you, I play basketball but that doesn't mean I can write that well about it. It's all a blur while you're playing really. There's no slow mo or anything like in anime or in the movies. This chapter is weird. Don't flame me coz I warned ya.

I do not, cannot, and will not own Slam Dunk. Saves me the death threats….if you know what I mean.

Requiem for the Dead

Chapter VI

Memories of the Wrong Kind

            Miyagi slowly dribbled the ball, letting it hit the floor with a satisfying thud. He wondered how he was going to go through with it. _Can he take it? He eyed Hanamichi nervously as he let his wrist do the magic with the ball. He decided to take a chance and threw the ball at the redhead. __Oh god, please catch it._

            For a moment, he was facing an unbelievably tall guy with glasses when suddenly, his own hands shot out in front of him to catch the ball. _What? He was surprised and he didn't know what to do for a second. Then in a blink of an eye, his feet carried him towards the end of the court. Hanamichi gasped as he managed to elude Hanagata and find his way there. _

            Hanagata was amazed at the speed of the recuperating redhead. _How could he have done it? I guess the reflexes are still working nicely. He saw Hanamichi dribble the ball, switching from hand to hand. __What the hell am I still doing here? He felt like an idiot, standing there with his mouth agape. As Hanagata was running towards him, the most astonishing thing happened. Hanamichi stepped back from the three-point line and let the ball sail into the air. It went in without a single hindrance, a shot so perfect that it didn't even touch the net. _

            The crowd was silent, and so were the players. They all knew of the extent of Hanamichi's skills, and they were sure that three-pointers were out of his league. Haruko pressed her hand to her mouth to muffle a strangled cry. Then, the crowd went wild. Their initial cheers for Hanamichi doubled and soon Youhei found himself irritated by them.

            _Shit. This was the Hanamichi __he knew, and he didn't like it a single bit. Everything had its consequences, and this one's were grave. Youhei bit his lip and slowly made his way to Anzai-sensei to try to work something out. _

            Ayako glanced at her watch and found that no less than one minute had passed. It had only taken that long for him to score, and three points at that. Kogure was off his seat, standing up as if he were drawn by some strange power. Even Anzai-sensei paled a little. He found himself wondering who Hanamichi really was. Had he stumbled on a gem?

            _Hana…He knew that the do'ahou was good…but he didn't think he was that good. In a brief moment, he considered leaving Sendoh to go to Hanamichi but he killed the thought as he saw Sendoh in possession of the ball. His eyes flitted distractedly towards the redhead and the Ryonan ace found it a good opportunity to elude him. He was back on his feet, trying his best not to let his rival get the better of him. Rukawa was too late, as Sendoh smashed the ball into the hoop with much flourish. _

            9-23, in favor of Ryonan-Shoyo. Mitsui put them back in business as he scored another three points. Seemingly unfazed by Hanamichi's weird performance, he soon found himself face to face with Koshino, who muttered curses under his breath for letting the former-MVP score. Mitsui grinned, making his scar slightly more visible. _Just you wait…_

            Another four points were scored by Rukawa, and soon, almost five minutes had passed. He glanced over his shoulder to Hanamichi, who seemed to be perfectly fine, save the fact that he seemed to know maneuvers even he hadn't risked doing in the eliminations. He was no coward, but he knew the difficulty of those moves and intense concentration and skill required to pull them off. _Did Mizuki-sensei inject him with a super-basketball potion or something?_

            Just down by 10 points, the Shohoku players found themselves filled with a new strength. Miyagi sidestepped Fujima, and managed a jumpshot, while Akagi settled for his Gori dunk. Mitsui threw another three-pointer, and Hanamichi did the same. Now they were even.

            Youhei patiently weaved his way through screaming spectators and tapped Anzai-sensei on the shoulder. "Anzai-sensei, I need to talk to you. It's about," he said, gesturing over his shoulder, "It's about Hanamichi." The coach nodded his head, wanting explanation for the performance level of Hanamichi. Not that he didn't like it though, but he felt that it was dangerous. As he played, he didn't find the child he remembered seeing in the redhead. He saw a calculating youth, one whose thoughts were best known by himself, totally the opposite of him before the accident. Youhei shared the same sentiment, as he replayed images in his head.

            "Youhei! Youhei! Matte!" He laughed as Hanamichi had trouble keeping up with him, thanks to a cast on his leg. "Youhei, you're mean!!!" They were in their first year of junior high, and they simply basked in the fun of it, getting into squabbles here and there, a few great adventures and a lot of detention. Hanamichi had gotten into a minor accident and fell down small cliff while hiking with his dad. He wasn't hurt in any other way, but his father was worried sick over him. He had even gone to the extent of banning him from holding a basketball.

            "Mou, oyaji's so unreasonable sometimes." He managed to prop himself up with one hand as Youhei tried his luck with some shots Hanamichi had taught him. He knew how much his friend was itching to grab it from him, but he wasn't about to pass the chance of finally beating him at basketball. 

            Hanamichi's father loved the sport, and he raised his son to love it as well. Through the years, he mastered it and even defeated his father once or twice. Yet he felt no desire to join the basketball club and wanted to stay as free as his bestfriend. Youhei knew this, and thanked him silently, promising to return the favor. 

            And then, it happened. Tragically, Hanamichi lost the person he depended upon the most….

            Dead on arrival was what the paramedics told him when he questioned them about Hanamichi's oyaji. He found Hanamichi huddled in a corner, tears streaming down his face. Youhei felt something stir in him, as if his soul was hurt as well by his loss. He knelt down and held the redhead close to him, trying to share his pain._ Hanamichi…_

            Slowly, Hanamichi lost it and he turned to slashing himself for comfort. It took Youhei about a month to discover this and he was enraged at Hanamichi's actions. "You baka! Why the hell are you doing this?" He was met with a glare and Hanamichi only stomped off. 

            Youhei looked for him and found him at his father's grave, crying his eyes out. He was disgusted with himself, unable to help him in any way. Finally, as he had done before, he cradled Hanamichi in his arms, allowing him to get some rest and sleep at peace. _If only you knew how much I care for you…_

            After waking up, Hanamichi cared nothing for the sport that had tied him to his father. As if those memories had died with his father, he completely forgot about his promising basketball skills and settled for the rambunctious life he led with Youhei and the rest of the gang.

            Youhei at first tried to remind him of the past, but he was taken aback by the flashes of Hanamichi's haunted face. He knew that Hanamichi did not want those memories, and neither did he. He thought that everything had been accounted for, but he never knew that Hanamichi continued slashing himself. The pain of his loss was still there, and he felt a huge weight bear down on his shoulders, the feeling of guilt. 

            The years passed and he knew that Hanamichi was still empty inside, despite the laughs and the smiles that graced his lips. The others fell for his mask, but Youhei knew him too well. Senior high came almost too soon, and Youhei watched in amazement as his friend was transformed by the basketball club. Slowly, the void inside was being filled, and Youhei was grateful for that, even though he ran the risk of plunging him back to the dark past the moment the game triggered his lost memories. 

            Again, another accident happened, and this time, it wasn't his leg that suffered but his head. God had given him a second chance and left his mind a blank slate, with it Youhei hoped to give his Hanamichi a better future. But then, fate was against him and the shadows of the past rose to the occasion.

            Youhei blinked and was transported back to the present wherein Ayako silently kept track of the time that had lapsed. He glanced at the scoreboard in amazement as he saw Shohoku leading by two points. Anzai-sensei followed his gaze, and told him that it was all thanks to Hanamichi who gave them back the drive to win. 

            "Two more minutes", muttered Ayako, breaking his train of thought. Youhei realized his original intention, and turned back to Anzai-sensei and said, "You have to pull him out, now. I know he's still under the limit, but please you have to."

            As if God answered his prayers, Hanamichi suddenly felt a wave of nausea wash over him, and struggled to stay on his feet. _No, not now, not when I feel that it's so right…Hanagata's eyes widened as his opponent fell towards him. He caught him and yelled at the referee. Confusion ensued as the other players crowded around them. Rukawa pushed his way through and grabbed Hanamichi from Hanagata's arms. __Hana… _

            "Hanamichi! Hanamichi!" He shook the redhead, who tried to open his eyes but couldn't. He was limp in Rukawa's embrace, and soon the stretcher was brought out by the paramedics to take him back to the hospital. 

            The other players watched with concern as he was laid on the stretcher and taken away. _This can't be happening…Rukawa sprang to his feet and ran after them, abandoning the game. He was followed by Youhei, and they went in the ambulance with Hanamichi._

            The court held the deafening silence, and the game was continued but without its former excitement that hung in the air joyfully. Shohoku managed to pull a one-point victory, but nobody was happy anyway. All thoughts led to the hospital where once again, Hanamichi was fighting for his life.

To be continued….

Sorry to keep you hanging once again. Sorry if you found the chapter crappy, still, it's something right? A little unexpected flashback by Youhei…we're back to square one…I know, I know, when is this gonna get going? 

This was the first time I wrote a chapter directly on the pc, without using my *notebook*….the almighty compilation of notepaper from my formerly 'spiraled' notebooks. So once again, English is not my native language, nor is Grammar my forte, so please bear with me. Thanks people!!!

Please read and review, but no flames, onegai. Thanks a lot people, and God bless!


	7. It Kills Me To Be With You

Hey guys, I know I take too long but finally, school's out so I can update much often. However, you have to help me with this one. Choose an ending that you like for this chapter (I promise this will only happen once) and I'll base the rest of the story from there. Please consider the flow of the whole story and don't choose one just because you wanna get on with the whole thing. I promise I'll finish this soon so I can put it up on my website already. Thanks.

Rukawa is a bit over-demonstrative…but as I've warned earlier, some characters are likely to be oc. 

I'm barely passing Grammar, so expect typos and other errors. Please bear with me.

I don't own Slam Dunk.

Requiem for the Dead

Chapter VII

It Kills Me To Be With You

            Akagi Haruko shifted her weight from one foot to the other, amazed at how Rukawa Kaede was able to sling his bag over his shoulder so casually, with it being so heavy. He was an athlete after all. But still she'd carried her brother's duffel once or twice, and it didn't weigh as much as this. The thought of Rukawa stuffing his bike in it crossed her mind, and it made a tiny smile creep onto her face.

            She had eagerly volunteered to take the bag to him, knowing that he couldn't stay in his jersey all day long. Also, she wanted to know if Hanamichi was alright. She had almost fainted with fright when she saw him slump over in the game. _Sakuragi-kun, what's happening to you? She found it horrifying to watch him without his confidence and his trademark grin, eternally lifting the spirits of the Shohoku side. _

            Haruko gingerly stepped out of the elevator that seemed to take forever to get to the 8th floor. The doors opened and she almost bumped into Youhei. He was just as surprised to see her, and for a moment Haruko forgot about the whole Rukawa's-bag-business. "How's Sakuragi-kun?" Youhei shrugged and told her, "He's doing ok…don't worry about him, the tensai can pull through…_I hope…if I can help it._

            He forced himself to laugh and plastered a smile on his face. The poor girl fell completely for it. He found a genuine reason to grin as Haruko once again proved to him how naïve she was, and he was reminded that hiding behind masks was another skill he shared with his best friend. Youhei's gaze shifted to what Haruko was lugging around and as the elevator doors opened with a ding!, announcing their arrival at the first floor, he asked, " Isn't that Rukawa's duffel?"

            Haruko gasped and hurried back to her original destination. She soon found a nurse and asked where Sakuragi Hanamichi was. She saw Rukawa in front of the door, staring at it with his pale hands balled up tightly. Haruko wondered how close she could get before he noticed her, and she soon found out that Rukawa had a built-in radar as he suddenly spun round and took his bag from her, giving her an almost imperceptible nod to show his gratitude. She was almost relieved to have the weight of the bag taken off her hands, but she instantly regretted it when she had no reason to stand by him anymore. 

            Haruko traced circles with her foot, hoping it could give her an idea of what to say to him, hopefully something more than the, "Hi! Did you realize that the floor has the most interesting pattern I've ever seen?" that she was thinking of, to say to him, Rukawa, who didn't even deem her worthy to spend his time on. Before she knew it, she had already asked him, "Why don't we go inside and check on Sakuragi-kun?"

            Rukawa fought hard to keep himself from turning around to face her and yell at her that if he were allowed to do that, he wouldn't be standing in front of the damn door, waiting for the quacks inside to tell him that it was okay to see him…to see Hanamichi and perhaps ask him questions that had been bothering him since about, say three hours ago? He mumbled, "The doctors won't allow it," partly because she was the captain's sister, and mostly because the redhead inside was smitten by her, "They told us to wait."

            Only seconds after those words left his lips, the door was flung open by a nurse and a couple of doctors went out, grumbling and muttering medical terms that seemed like gibberish to regular people. Doctor Mizuki was left inside, and he beckoned to them, inviting them to come in. His face was red, full of anger that slowly drained when he saw Rukawa. "They wanted to cut his head open to look for answers. Don't worry, I won't let them." Rukawa saw the doctor's face darken, and he shared the sentiment. _Neither would I…_

            He tried his best to smile at Haruko and said, "I've seen you before. You're Akagi-kun's sister aren't you?" She nodded and asked, "Why do they want to perform surgery on him? Why don't they just do other tests?" Rukawa was glad as she had voiced out his queries. "Mizuki-sensei?"

            He ran his hand through his short hair and told them, "Apparently the accident left Hanamichi-kun more injured than we thought. It's not just amnesia. We thought that it was just caused by the light concussion but it was more serious. Something happened in Hanamichi-kun's brain that we can't explain. When his memory comes back, a circuit in his head malfunctions and sort of sets of a series of electric pulses that cause his whole system to kinda…reboot. If it happens a lot, his body might not be able to take it and he could die. I'm sorry but the only way to save him would be to give him a new life, to shield him from his past. So the people who trigger his memory might as well bury him six feet under." _Like that boy…_

            Haruko asked, "So does that mean…we should stay away from him?" Rukawa stared at her, shocked at her words. Stay away from him? He now realized what Youhei had said to him. The shorter freshman had talked to the doctor before him and upon leaving, he told Rukawa painfully, "Make him forget." His voice had been hoarse, desperately held steady by Youhei's will. He now realized the significance of those words.

            The doctor said, "Something like that. You guys are safe anyway; you've been with him for just three months. But for people like Mrs. Sakuragi and Youhei-kun…"

            Rukawa suddenly felt pity for him. He had seen the anguish plague Youhei's face when he stepped away from the doctor wordlessly after their little 'talk'. And what about Hanamichi's mother? She had finally found a way to come back to Japan to see her son, but now she can't…she shouldn't. For her son's sake.

            Haruko bit her lip in her sudden urge to cry. Life was really cruel to some, but she hadn't expected this. She couldn't imagine living without being able to see her brother, her parents, Fuji…Aki…_Sakuragi-kun…_

            She had left almost an hour ago, and Rukawa was left in his usual position, sitting by Hanamichi, keeping a close watch on him. He traced the patient's face with his eyes, moving from the forehead to the tip of his nose, lingering on the soft lips down to the well-defined jaw. He puzzled over what to tell the redhead when he wakes up. Would he introduce himself as an archnemesis? A teammate? A friend? He was proud that Hanamichi remembered his name, and relieved that the same couldn't be said about their squabbles.

            Hanamichi wondered why he couldn't open his eyes. A mysterious force held him back, pinning him down in the darkness. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had to get to the light, the one far from his reach, calling to him, pleading him to go to it. He struggled but felt like he had been chained down, frozen to the spot. The ground slowly melted and he found his feet sinking into it, deeper and deeper until it was up to his chin. He stretched out his arm to the light, begging it to help him. 

            Rukawa sprang to his feet as he heard moans coming from the redhead. His face was ashen, eyebrows knit together and lips pursed, mumbling incoherently. His chest heaved while he took in ragged breaths, struggling to keep the air flowing in and out of his lungs. His hands were flailing wildly in the air, clawing at it and reaching upwards. Rukawa grabbed hold of them and pinned them down with his elbows, and reached for Hanamichi's face, stroking it gently, hoping that he could stop the nightmare. He was already half-lying on the bed when Hanamichi arched his body forward, throwing his head back, letting his red hair glimmer in the shadows. "Hanamichi, wake up…wake up…" Rukawa spoke his name, hoping to comfort him, "Hana, Hana, you can make it!"

            It had already reached his mouth, choking him, preventing him from breathing. He desperately stretched his fingers, trying to grasp the air, trying to cling to anything. Then he saw a pale angel descend from the light. It had raven-black hair, floating gently like the plants under the sea dancing with the current. It had wings lined with snow-white feathers, glistening and shimmering in the darkness. It reached out to him, pulled him out and held him in its arms. Hanamichi stared at its face, into the familiar blue pools. He craned his neck to gaze at it more, but he was suddenly blinded by the light…Never mind. He knew who it was anyway. Hanamichi had already known for a very long time. Every moment he was around, a certain feeling that he couldn't understand washed over him. Maybe…it's…

This is where I need your help. When you review, please tell me whether the first or the second ending is better. They'll be marked by asterisks (*). Thanks. Oh by the way, just as a warning, may contain…sensual stuff (the first one).

*          Rukawa lowered his face to Hanamichi's, trying to decipher the words coming out of his mouth.  To his surprise, Hanamichi's eyes flew open and he raised his face towards Rukawa's. Their lips met and both were stunned by it. Then Rukawa felt Hanamichi's hands free themselves from his grasp to encircle him and pull him closer as Rukawa tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Hanamichi felt Rukawa's tongue part his lips and explore his mouth with passion. Parts of his body touching Rukawa's tingled with pleasure and he let his hand run down the delicate hairs of the pale youth's neck, stroking them, making Rukawa gasp. He quickly caught the raven-haired boy's lips, tasting the sweetness of his mouth as Rukawa's tongue touched his, making him moan softly. _Hana…I've waited so long…_

            They broke apart from lack of air. Rukawa rested his head on the redhead's chest, letting his hot breath drive Hanamichi mad as he whispered his name lovingly. Hanamichi could hardly contain himself as he pleaded, "Please, Ruka-" when he was stopped as he felt Rukawa trace his neck to his ear with soft lips, making him moan in pleasure. He felt the sapphire orbs stare at him as he whispered in his ear, "Kaede…Call me Kaede."

            Hanamichi grinned at him and played with the new name, letting it roll off his tongue a few times before placing his hand on Rukawa's cheek, forcing him to look into his warm chestnut eyes. He said, "You're my angel Kaede. I don't need my past to fall in love with you."

            _And that's how it's going to be…my Hana…He softly planted a kiss on the tanned forehead before saying, "I've loved you forever, Sakuragi Hanamichi."    _

**        Rukawa lowered his face to Hanamichi's, trying to decipher the words coming out of his mouth.  To his surprise, Hanamichi's eyes flew open and he raised his face towards Rukawa's. For a split second, Hanamichi thought that he was still in dream land, and so he muttered, "Angel…"

            It was then that Hanamichi turned his face away to hide his blush. Rukawa worriedly asked, "What's wrong Hanamichi?" He caught a glimpse of chocolate brown eyes shining with tears.

            Hanamichi whispered hoarsely, "It's you. It's always you. Every single time." Rukawa looked down, crestfallen, and he apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't know I caused you pain. I just…I just can't leave you anymore." He was surprised as a hand lightly touched his cheek, making him look up.

            There, grinning at him was Hanamichi, who told him, "I wanted it to be you…so much…" He pulled Rukawa to himself and wrapped his arms around him.

            Rukawa's heart skipped a beat at those words. Youhei's voice echoed in his head, "Make him forget." He didn't want to lie, but the truth may lead Hanamichi to an early meeting with the Creator. Besides, he had a perfect opportunity. Hanamichi remembered nothing of their rivalry, of Haruko…

            Yet somehow a voice inside told him to wait. _Maybe it's better to leave things as they are right now._

To be continued…

Please review. Thanks very much, and soon I'll write the next chapters. The ending that gets 10 votes first will be the winner. And I can go on with the story. See ya!


	8. Youhei

Hello there…thanks for the reviews…unfortunately I have committed myself to ten votes…I vowed that I would wait so this is kinda a filler chapter…At first I decided to discontinue this story and just put it at my website. But noo…damn brain screamed at me to finish it so here…I was going to put an author's note but I remembered how I hated seeing those so I decided to make something else… I need more reviews…the first ending's kinda winning.

Ok…to make things clear…**xerxes is only fifteen years old**. Grammar, spelling…other stuff…be **very kind not to flame me for those. I try my best, seriously. I erase and replace a chapter that has bothering mistakes in it…like chapter 2 which took me a year to realize it had a serious error…**

Another thing…this story is **not supposed to be a happy one. It will end with lots of sorrow, pain, blabla…all those who do not wish to read about characters dying, stop reading this fic. I do not promise a tearjerker, but I do promise it will come from the heart (damn I really need rock therapy…Angel please buy me a Korn cd…)**

This is dedicated to **obsidian** whose review definitely got me off my feet in a mad rampage. By the way, it is only when soccer balls are used by Rukawa that I am able to say that I own Slam Dunk. Review this one if you want, I'll probably delete this after I get the ten votes. This may/may not apply to the story. Consider this a 'temporary' twist. A chapter full of my nonsense. Read on if you want.

Requiem for the Dead

Youhei

            Only in dreams that he was able to say those words…those simple syllables could have saved a life…yet he didn't. And it killed him that he was to blame. Now that life had been twisted into something more grotesque…he wondered how humans could get into such impossible situations. Incredibly complicated ones in fact. 

            Mito Youhei could have prevented it all. He could have told Hanamichi of a secret only known to him and Sakuragi-san along with his wife…his best friend's oyaji was sick. If not for the heart attack he would have died a more painful death. The sad thing about it was that he chose to put that burden of knowing upon a young boy's shoulders, who wasn't even related to him by a single drop of blood. Of course, he knew that they all came from the same 'family' but still…what business had he to tell his son's bestfriend? While his own offspring knew nothing, the other spent more thoughts on the afterlife. Youhei's young mind had been plagued with questions like 'Would it hurt?' or  'Is there really heaven out there?'

            At an early age, Youhei had come to accept life for what it is. A fleeting moment wherein humans chose to move instead of drinking it all in. He started getting visions of people just going about life as if it were ordinary. He knew that every second was precious for the brunette old man whom his best friend lovingly called 'oyaji'. With eyes that seemed to pierce the jaded human perception of time, he watched every rise and fall of the old man's chest. At any moment, that rhythmic movement could cease, and his friend's world could do so too. 

            He chose to remain silent, to watch it all. It was sometimes amusing to think of the whole routine as a soap opera wherein the heroes always found a strength to move on, or to find strength even in the most draining situations. Youhei simply knew that we are who we are, not fabricated characters of endless luck or joy. We find a way uphill, and of course, we reluctantly go downhill, trying to claw our way back up. Yet some people just remained there at the bottom. No way to climb up, no one to help them ascend, they either stayed there and made the best out of it or they longed to go back up, despaired for it with such thirst that they extinguished their own lives.

            Which is why he was fascinated with Hanamichi. The redhead simply did not belong anywhere in that…he had a world of his own, a world of utter freedom. The youth was not tied down by human conventions. If he wished to laugh, he did so. If he wanted to cry, he shed the tears. Youhei loved that he could stay with him and bask in his warmth. 

            The heart attack had been an unexpected curse. Maybe he would have taken it in better if he had known that his father would have died later, a week maybe. His family was ripped from him in a single stroke, wordlessly, effortlessly. There was no time to say goodbye. His father had planned on telling him to at least prepare him for what was coming, that life is a big joke and the only way to survive is to laugh along. Yes, his mother was alive and well, yet they did not share the same bond. Maybe he just loved his father too much. Or maybe his mother had never really been around anyway. The end result was two deaths…a life, and innocence.

            Perhaps, Youhei often thought, that Hanamichi had not lost his innocence after all. He did find his way through the world by himself, navigating with his own rules and sometimes rules that he applied from others. Yes, the darker side surfaced, which made Youhei think that we were all created to have one anyway. We were not angels. We are humans. 

            Now Youhei fought to stay away from his best friend. He knew that he brought memories of a strange past, and those bits and pieces of time immortalized by the human mind carried lethal knives poised to strike Hanamichi the moment he decides to recognize them. He loved Hanamichi and would do anything to give him what he deserves. 

            "Make him forget."

            His own voice sounded strange, detached from him at the least. To forget would be to lose everything…and gain everything…he wanted Hanamichi to live by living a lie. A lie it was, true, but one that came with good intent. He smiled at the thought that he was somehow playing God, but it was turned upside-down as he realized he had nothing else to live for anymore.

            He screamed inwardly, hoping that someone would hear him. Hoping that it would be Hanamichi himself to break him out, to find him in the swirling blackness eating him away. 

End

Sucked didn't it? Yeah, it was nonsense spouted while I was half asleep. Too bad. I'll delete this anyway. I'm crazy right now, can you tell? Hope I didn't damage anyone.


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